Give Yourself Your Own Gold Star

Last fall I was telling a good friend I was struggling with some self doubt about my art. Well, let me clarify: I’m pretty much always struggling with some self doubt about my art (I think this is inherent to who we are as artists, at least at the beginning of our careers), but I was at a point where I felt particularly vulnerable.

A couple years back I had made a large goal for myself: complete three surface pattern design collections, assemble them into a portfolio, and pitch them to companies for licensing opportunities, oh my! Slowly, over the course of almost two years, I found myself completing my portfolio, and then I arrived at the point where I actually sent out all the emails baring my artist soul, asking for partnerships, putting my artwork out into the world in a big way. Having a lot of experience in sales, this last part wasn’t actually that difficult for me (I think a lot of people freeze at this moment but I can compose an email like the best of them), but what came next was an unexpected struggle.

I was warned that when you send your portfolio to companies the typical response is either absolutely nothing, or a really slow reply. I am used to hounding people for a response when I need a group of clients to attend an event, so I have no issue sending a reminder note, but the period of waiting and wondering after submitting such a personal body of work left me feeling a bit empty. Also, having completed such a large goal found me waiting to define “what’s next”, regardless of a response from these companies.

It was at this point that I was spewing a load of self doubt onto my friend, and her words of support were simple and to the point (which they always are; find yourself good supporters and it can mean the world): you can give yourself your own gold star! You don’t need to wait for someone else to tell you that you did a good job. When you complete a body of work that you’ve been analyzing and editing and struggling over, you already gave it your own stamp of approval, and that’s enough. That’s enough! This can still be hard in practice, but she’s so right. Take the time to celebrate these moments and know that your work is done and worthy when YOU say it is. There’s a feeling you get when you know you’ve done your best and you approve of it. It’s internal. You know it. And you can’t argue it. Trust this.

To bring the point home, my friend ordered me a roll of actual gold stars and it feels so oddly great to reward myself with one when I know I’ve worked through something, done a good job, made a realization, etc. These are all big moments, and they are worthy of your own praise. They are worthy of you giving yourself a gold star!

So, I highly suggest getting your hands on this roll of stickers. Artist or not, we need to acknowledge our work, and it feels great to take a moment and give yourself that star and wear it proud. Giving yourself this praise is huge, and while it feels really good to get it from others as well, you don’t actually need it from anyone but yourself.